Univ of Chicago study proves Pigeons keep Urban Moron populations from growing out of control

Up to 65% of people from rural states become ill-adapted to city life and can be predicted by Pigeons

CHICAGO – Groundbreaking evidence-based research with super-computer analyzed data proves pigeons the most important factor in keeping typical domestic morons from over-population in Chicago.

Kansas ranked the highest at 65%, Texas came in 2nd at 57%, Iowa and Nebraska tied for 3rd at 52%. Generally states considered red/conservative ranked highest in pigeon aversion and ill-adaption to city life predictability.

Data showed early predictors for failure to adapt to city living successfully were irritability towards pigeons, harboring harmful thoughts towards pigeons and the most reliable of all harmful actions towards pigeons. Additionally other anti-city life traits that tended to manifest concurrently in pigeon haters were extremely vocal whining, power abuses, excessive blame of others for their own unhappiness and other anti-urban actions.

Urban Moron populations measurably growing since 1970’s but there is now hope with this study

The good news is this evidence conclusively shows that in sufficient numbers, healthy and well-fed urban pigeon populations keep moron populations from growing to human damage levels.

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