“Progressive energy” white male Cappleman appoints white male Committeeman for “Progressive direction”

Women allowed to hold 46th Ward sign with the men

UPTOWN – Official Cappleman real estate news website press release “This is a win-win for the 46th Ward and the Democratic Party”.

Cappleman also expressed gratitude for “moving our state back in a more progressive direction”.

Be patient women and people of color in 46th ward politics, maybe more equality next time?

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19th District Chicago Police Dept issues Community Alert about impostor Alderman Cappleman

Impostor Ald. Cappleman wanted for felony retail theft

UPTOWN – 5 times this month so far, an almost exact look-alike of Alderman Cappleman with his Visa card and City of Chicago Identification card has defrauded 19th District retailers for thousands of dollars.

Police warning: If you see him, do not attempt to engage or capture, he may be dangerous. At the very least, the impostor has been known to be very persuasive that he is the real Alderman Cappleman. Just call the Police.

An anonymous CPD Detective unauthorized to speak, said “Let this be a lesson to your readers, what kind of an idiot posts their ID’s on social media?”

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Alderman Cappleman releases chart showing 46th Ward burdened with 46th Ward Aldermanic Offices

Controversial 46th Ward Aldermanic Office Relocation to Jefferson Park Debate Heats Up

UPTOWN – Immediately following Uptown Pigeon’s publication of BREAKING: Alderman Cappleman relocating 46th Ward Aldermanic Office to Jefferson Park, Ald. Cappleman has released a chart showing the unfair burden the 46th Ward bears in 46th Ward Aldermanic Office locations.

In a press release Cappleman said “Everyone knows me, I’m all about the 46th Ward Alderman, but it’s time for the other wards in the City of Chicago to do their fair share. City-wide discrimination towards 46th Ward Aldermanic Offices has to stop.”

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BREAKING: Alderman Cappleman relocating 46th Ward Aldermanic Office to Jefferson Park

Parking for developers, convenience to trains downtown and improved services for 46th Ward constituents

Jefferson Park pigeons alarmed

UPTOWN – An anonymous staffer broke the news to the Uptown Pigeon that as part of his post-Everyblock.com strategy, Alderman Cappleman has signed a lease in Jefferson Park for a new 46th Ward Aldermanic Office.

They said Cappleman got the idea from a recent Department of Human Services move from Uptown to a nearby location on the northwest side of Chicago and was amazed he didn’t think of it first.

Reached for confirmation, Cappleman said “Yes, it’s revolutionary I know, but this is the kind of future evidence-based pro-development thinking my constituents have come to know and expect from me. Much will remain the same, only better!”

Cappleman continued “My office will still have open hours on Mondays for constituents to come and listen to me.”

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