66% of voters polled agree follow-up actions for election time announcements are absolutely unnecessary
UPTOWN – 46th Ward Alderman Cappleman announced today in a press release, “Voter polling and election results have shown time and time again, that voters do not want homelessness solved, they just want feel good announcements at election time about them.”
Republican-Democratic Committeeman Sean Tenner concurred, “Our newest poll, out today confirms it, voters just want to believe they and their horribly corrupt and dishonest legislators are good people and care.”
Tenner continued “Just one picture of Jan Schakowsky or J.B. Pritzker smiling is worth thousands of votes, actually housing homeless people means zero to the voters, but they do want us to talk about it a lot.”
Reached by phone for comment, Cappleman expanded “Homeless people are just another planted flower garden or milk shake at Sonic, substance means nothing, style is everything. The people have spoken.”
Stay tuned for updated news right here, at the Uptown Pigeon.
Be sure to join the Uptown Pigeon Facebook Group