Uptown Update Cappleman supporters debate whether the law has been violated enough to win the election

Chicago Reader: Team Cappleman cupcakes given out at polling places

Some felt cupcakes were not enough and there should have been cookies too, others thought money and beer, maybe even vodka would have been better

The well-known official Alderman Cappleman website and Facebook page masquerading as a neighborhood blog, was alive and hopping with confused users after Tuesday’s deadlocked election results, concerned that true equality may cause them to lose their entitlement and hateful ways.

Most were completely stunned and couldn’t believe that votes for challenger Marianne Lalonde, with only a mere fraction of Cappleman’s campaign budget, managed to equal Cappleman votes, with all his ill-gotten campaign donations from the real estate industry.

A frequent user of the Uptown Update Facebook page said “Look, we pay lots of property taxes to support all this corruption, how dare they not give us the alderman we want?”

Many condo owners at the Uptown Update openly expressed their [irrational] fears that a new administration would treat them as horribly as they treated others, and several said they would have to move elsewhere.

One user lamented, “They will make this all about human beings instead of buildings, what shall we do?” Another crowed, “We threw all Marianne’s campaign signs away, and still she has the gall to equal Cappleman votes? I just knew we should have poisoned a few pigeons near the polling places.” One more said “Cappleman told me to pay that city crew $50 each to block her campaign office with machinery and she still got the vote out, what the heck?”

Stay tuned for updated news right here, at the Uptown Pigeon.

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